The best way to a successful marriage is to follow the Maker's instructions. You can't beat that.We said there were two things a husband needs to do: to love his wife as he loves himself, and to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
So what does a wife need to do? Ephesians 5 has the answer there too. She needs to submit to her own husband, as to the Lord.
Does that mean that he's superior to her, and she's inferior to him and he can take all the decisions without reference to her? No. Husband and wife are equal. But in any situation, someone has to take responsibility for the final decision. He holds that responsibility.
Does it mean that the wife is not allowed to have an opinion, and that she's never allowed to explain how she feels? No. Indeed, she should express her feelings and her concerns, quietly and kindly. But then she should commit the matter to God and trust Him to work it out in His way and in His time.
That's the trouble, says some husband. My wife is not submissive, so what can I do? Love her as you love yourself, and as Christ loved the church. Don't lay the law down. Don't preach. Don't kick up a storm.
That's the trouble, says some wife. My husband doesn't love me like that. So what should I do? Submit to your husband, as unto the Lord. Don't nag. Don't moan.
Don't focus on your spouse's failings. Concentrate on getting your attitude right.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it better: "Live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don't insist on your rights, don't blame each other, don't judge or condemn each other, don't find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts."
Try it. See if it doesn't work.
